Why don't I know what I want to do with my life, or what do I want to do with my life?
Why can’t I figure out what I want to take in school?
Why can’t I commit to a job or a career path?
Why is it difficult for me to commit to life decisions?
Why am I not brave enough to do what I actually want to do?
These five questions were sent to me recently and I know there are many more like them. In a way, they all have a similar answer: What part of you is making the decision at any point in time?
We have many parts of us that help us plan what we are going to do today, tomorrow, next year and so on. The short term decisions we make are easy because they happen and then it’s done. The decisions aren’t always smart, but they’re made nonetheless. Our long term decisions are always changing until we fully commit to them. What happens is that we have a few parts of us wanting what they want, while we also have friends and family in the mix.
Think of it as a meeting with ten people (or parts), and you are discussing what to take next year in school. In the meeting with that group of people you make a decision to take A, B, C and D. A week later, you have the same meeting with ten different people/parts and you look at the same question. Then the decision is changed so you are now going to take A, D, G and P.
From what I understand, this is what goes on inside all of us. At any given time, there is never the same bunch of parts looking at a specific issue. We have so many influences from around us: friends, families, books, TV, and internet. Each one of these influences alters what parts of us are making decisions at any one moment, which is why I believe it is so hard to make a commitment.
So here is what I have learnt to do for me, and it seems to work for the better. When I’m making a major decision that is going to affect my life, I gather all the info from friends, families, books, TV, and internet, and then I sleep on it for awhile and let all my parts have their say. As I have expressed in the past, I do my best meditation at about 5am. I ask my Self the question and I simply listen for the answer. My inner wisdom/gut feeling will give me the answer. I have found that when I go with the answer that came to me, the outcome always seemed to be for the best. I go through the same process when I’m buying anything of value.
Try it for yourself with something simple. If someone asks you do something in the near future and you’re not sure you should, tell them you’ll get back to them. Take the question to a quiet place and think calmly about it for a while. Then ask the question to your Self and listen patiently for the answer. It will come. Trust your gut instinct/inner wisdom.